Sitting With It

Sitting With It
8:55 AM — Friday 26 September 2025

It’s amazing how quickly things can change — and how quickly your body and mind can process when you finally let yourself feel.

We live in a culture of “keep going.” Stay busy. Stay distracted. Push the feelings down. I’ve been guilty of that too. But as someone with Autism Spectrum Disorder, CADHD, chronic pain, complex PTSD, fibromyalgia, and more — my body doesn’t just forget. It traps it. The pain, the fear, the grief — it gets locked in. And this week, it all came rising to the surface.

There’s been some ugly stuff. Moments of asking why now? why me? how much more? But also moments of release — of sitting in it, even when it hurts, and choosing not to numb. Yesterday, a connection call with someone shifted something in me. They helped me see differently.

Here’s the truth: I’ve never hated anyone, not even those who hurt me. I don’t carry hate, because I know those who cause harm are suffering too. We’re all struggling, in our own ways. And the truth always finds its way out.

For so long I felt I had to justify myself, prove I was right, prove they were wrong. But today I’m letting that go. Letting them have their truth. Letting myself sit in mine. And trusting that the best outcome will come — not because I fought for it, but because I chose to stand in my truth and let go of the rest.

It’s been only a few hours since I got the message this morning. The roller coaster hasn’t stopped — there have been tears, questions, fear, anger. And still, I’m here. Still breathing. Still feeling.

What helped? A simple phone call from a friend. A reminder that I’m not alone. Sometimes that’s all it takes: one voice reaching out, one moment of being seen, to make the unbearable feel survivable.